The Operator
by DarkAce101
Summary: When character from your favorite cartoon, anime, tv show, etc, from different realities have issues they can't seem to solve, they call the all-knowing Operator, who can help give them some useful advice. (there are many other characters from other works in this, i couldn't add more than 2 in the categories)


When characters from your favorite t.v show, anime, cartoon, etc, need answers and advice to dealing with problems, they call the Operator, a very insightful man with many answers. His callers range from a wide range of different Earths and realities. He keeps all his conversations recorded for quality assurance. Here are but a few of his callers.

_Wednesday 10:35am/Goku_

Operator: This is the Operator, how may I be of service to you, today?

Goku: Hey, I have this huge problem. The Earth is in danger of being destroyed, _again. _My opponent is an alien from a planet that only hates Earth for no particular reason that was destroyed years ago, and he was the only survivor and also the strongest of them all for no inexplicable reason at all. He's beat the shit out of Vegeta (DUH) and now it's up to me. What do I do? Also, he can regenerate, because why not.

Operator: Ok, so first things first, did you try the Spirit Bomb on him yet?

Goku: No, not yet.

Operator: Alright, so for future reference, always try that first. From what I understand that usually works. Also, why the hell do you send Vegeta in to fight? I mean let's be honest, he just talks a lot of shit and then get's the crap beat out of himself. Also, did you let him power up so you could see his full strength?

Goku: Yes...

Operator: Right, so don't fucking do that. Don't let him power up, don't take fucking a million years to power up, don't take 5 minutes to shoot a Kamehameha Wave, or fucking find the Dragonballs and wish he were sent to the sun or fucking even dead. Boom. Earth is safe.

_Friday 3:47pm/ Eddy_

Operator: This is the Operator, how may I be of service to you, today?

Eddy: Yeah, i'm having problems thinking of a way to scam the most violent bunch of middle schoolers in all the universe. Can you help me think of a scam so I can get quarters to buy jawbreakers?

Operator: Mkay, first off, why the hell does it have to be a scam? I mean you want quarters, so why not actually do something legit, like fucking selling ACTUAL lemonade or some shit. Why exactly do you have to rip them off? Also, are your parents really that shitty, where they wont give you a dollar if you asked for one? I mean, even Edd and Ed can ask for one. Im sure your parents can spare a goddamned dollar, if not a quarter at least. And don't jawbreakers only cost a fucking quarter and aren't they literally, bigger than your head. Just ask _for_ a quarter. I mean honestly, a jawbreaker of that size would take literally months to eat. Why do you want more than one at the one time?

_Tuesday 5:24pm/ Superman_

Operator: Hello, this is the Operator, how may I be of service to you, today?

Superman: Yeah, hey, Lex Luthor has been giving me a lot of trouble lately and has been attacking Metropolis almost daily. Every time I put him in jail he manages to escape or even post bail. How can I stop him once and for all?

Operator: First off Superman, let me say fuck you. You can bench press Jupiter with your fucking dick and some bald prick is giving you this much trouble? You know what you can do? Kill him. It's that easy. Fuck you're goody two shoes attitude and fucking throw him into a black hole or something. Then you wont have to worry about him trying to kill you or mass murdering anyone else. Oh, and how fucked up is your justice system where this guys is able to post bail and constantly fucking escape prison like he's just walking out a six flags? Seriously, Superman, just melt his face off. Or flick his head off. I mean, honestly, everyone knows he's an asshole. How mad will people be when he's dead?

_Sunday 2:30pm/ Kaiba_

Operator: Hello, this is the Operator, how may I be of service to you, today?

Kaiba: I can't beat Yugi.

Operator: Okay here's what you can do: Become the main character, find a magical artifact with an ancient Egyptian King that does all the thinking for you, say 'I believe in the heart of the cards' during a serious pinch, have friends, don't be such an asshole all the time, say 'I believe in the heart of the cards' before every draw. But most importantly, get a capier cape with more leather and chains and crazier hair.


End file.
